One of my old roommates and I had many conversations about this: When you're single and in your late twenties, you don't want to have to wait some indeterminate amount of time until you get married to have decent plates or towels that match or a non-twin size bed, or whatever.
It's not necessarily that we want to project the image of being that utterly independent, home-owning, job-loving career woman who doesn't need anyone, but I think that's the vibe people often get when women choose not to wait until they're married to quit living like college students.
Keep throwing money away on rent, eat off mismatched plates, settle for hand-me-downs, work crap part-time jobs, and wait for the right man to come along? Or buy a house and your own dishes, find a good career, and give everyone the impression that you're a Lone Ranger and don't want a man at all?
*Based on thoughts and comments AGES ago on the lovely Fiona's blog.
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8 comments:
I'm a little late on commenting, but are you kidding me?! If you didn't try to have a life outside of waiting for a hubby, it'd be obvious... and also a turn-off. I'm not saying you need to make huge purchases when you don't have the money, but you have a life. No man out on the horizon is going to give you any more of a life... it just gets busier.
Girl, I don't know how many times I heard seminary men say that they disliked independence in women. Maybe they wouldn't have the nerve to say it exactly in those words, but the implication is that if you aren't married already by the time you're my age, you must be a) a man-hating feminist, b) seriously damaged goods, or c) both.
A woman in her late 20s with a good job who owns a home? Shoot, I practically have to holler "Unclean!" whenever I chance to walk across the seminary campus! ;)
Never mind the fact, of course, that I fully embrace the biblical roles of men and women, that I want to get married and have children, that I'm NOT career obsessed, that I'm definitely NOT a man-hating feminist by ANY stretch...
Ok, first of all: a guy who won't have anything to do with "damaged goods" just needs to get over himself. What happens if you have a relationship and there is actual sin? What would happen if I finally let my guard down and Eric found out that *gasp* I'm not perfect? Yeah, I've had some conversations like that ...it makes me sad. These can be truly good Christian men, but simply have a couple of hurdles until they are ready for a deep relationship. I've also seen some married men being hesitant to actually be in a deep relationship with their wives. It's dangerous. Don't be too discouraged and count them a total loss because of their sin in not being forgiving of others' sin. We have a powerful God who changes people. (The implication, of course, being that it's not we women who change these silly men.)
Also, isn't the point of dating getting to know somebody? I think they'd find out pretty quickly that you're not some crazed feminist. :-P
You are 100% right! I'm definitely not going to argue with you about the facts of what you sad AT ALL! Experientially, though...
I still do retain a little bit of bitterness from the seminary days surrounded by men who were apparently waiting for a smokin' hot submissive wife to be dropped down from heaven while they were sorting out Hebrew verbs or whatever. ;)
I'll be praying for your bitterness.
:-P
Love you, girl.
I am seriously laughing out loud. :)
Yes, please pray for my residual bitterness! Seriously. I know it's an area that I need repentance in. In which I need repentance? Blergh. That "don't end a sentence with a preposition" rule is stoopid.
good thing you aren't a teacher. it would haunt you.
just like when people don't use proper capitalization.
Bahahahaha!!!
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